Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
Everyone seems to understand the importance of trust. No one seems to doubt the vital role that it plays in personal relationships. We want to trust the people in our lives and we want them to trust us. Trust is a precious asset that takes time to earn and a second to lose. Being a golf parent begins with trust.
One of the most important things that a player can learn is to become self-reliant. On the golf course, players need to learn to work through many different challenges that they will face along the way. This reason that we don't permit caddies and why spectators are not to get involved (Please note USGA Rule 8-1 regarding advice). This is essentially an issue of TRUST. Parents/Spectators need to trust their junior golfer. Trusting your junior golfer means they will fail - Letting them fail is okay because it is an important part of the learning process; and is also the fastest way for them to learn how to succeed. The junior golf process can be complicated and difficult to watch from time to time. It means you have to bite your tong and watch your player go through a difficult situation. In the end, the precious asset of TRUST will be earned.
"Don't force your kids into sports. I never was. To this day, my dad has never asked me to play golf. I ask him.
It's the childs desire to play that matters, not the parents desire to have the child play.
Fun! Keep it fun". - Tiger Woods
Stay involved in a positive way
Emphasize emotional development
Be supporting, interested and encouraging
Be sympathetic when your child loses
Forbid cheating, quiting and lack of sportsmanship
Discourage temperamental behavior and vulgarity
Make sure your child’s self-esteem is not on the line
Stress the lifetime value of golf as a sport
Look relaxed and comfortable on the course
Expect financial returns from your child’s interest
Put pressure on your child to win
Get too excited if your child does win
Get too excited if your child loses or plays poorly
Display negative emotion, frustration, anger, fear or nervousness on the course
Say, “We’re playing today” or “We won.”
Be a Coach or a Rules Official
Take notes at practices or lessons
Use love to get your child to work harder
Equate your own self-worth with your child’s performance
Please remember that we all learn from our failures. Failing is not the end of the world, but rather an opportunity to learn and improve. Please respect all the players opportunity to compete.
Learning and the VCJGA
As hard as it is to keep our mouths shut sometimes, it's very clear that once they have made a mistake or not followed the rule and gotten penalized, they learn much quicker than hearing the same from us. And really, any mistakes they make on the golf course are inconsequential. College coaches are very clear that recruiters aren't looking at the mistakes per se, but at the way in which the kids overcome and learn from them. In fact, at young age, every mistake is really an excellent learning opportunity. So, keep calling the rules as they apply, keep insisting on good etiquette, and keep making the juniors make their own decision. Because that's what's going to make them great golfers and keep them interested in the sport.
Reprinted with parent permission
Parents, here’s a lesson that even the loved ones of pro athletes have to learn:
Be quiet, or move back!!
Over at the St. Louis Sports Commission sportsmanship blog, Solomon Alexander draws attention to some great supporting evidence for why parents should quiet down and butt out while enjoying watching their kids’ sports games.
It seems that actress Gabrielle Union (Bring It On!, Good Deeds), who also happens to be the girlfriend of NBA player Dwyane Wade, has been banned from the courtside seats at Miami Heat games that are usually reserved for family of the players. The reason? Wade was distracted by her loud yelling and pointed comments, directed both at her boyfriend and at the other players. (The “ban” is informal — Wade simply made a strong request that she move back several rows.)
As Solomon says,
If an all-world player like Wade is distracted by a loved one and he plays in packed arenas every night, imagine how your kid feels when you yell from the stands.
I’ve seen more than one kid stop playing on a field or court to turn to the stands so they can hear the nonsense mom or dad is yelling. Yes, I said nonsense. It’s nonsense because the kid has to stop helping his team to hear you. It’s also nonsense because advice from the stands has never worked on any level I’ve ever seen. They’re not going to score on the play you just called from the stands. More often than not, they get scored on because they stopped paying attention to listen to nonsense.
Those should be sobering thoughts for parents who think they should get involved in the game their kids are playing. It can be hard, but instead, try to sit back and relax, and enjoy watching your kids show you what they’re capable of without your help. Sports are a great chance for your kids to learn independence and decision making in a safe space. Let them at it, and try to enjoy the process of handing over responsibility, a little bit at a time
© 2011. Reprinted with permission from Michael Josephson’s Commentary.